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[CrazyDitto]

My first attempt at mindfucking.

[21:59] <Chris-Hansen> Poon-chan, have you ever had a dream involving sexual intercourse with a underage child? around eleven?
[22:00] <Chris-Hansen> Whats in the bag.
[22:01] <Chris-Hansen> Are you are that you are on international televesion?
[22:01] <Poon-chan> Yes.
[22:01] <Poon-chan> To both questions.
[22:01] <Poon-chan>
[22:01] <Chris-Hansen> Why dont you admit to these people what you are.
[22:01] <Chris-Hansen> They have the right to know.
[22:02] <Poon-chan> They all already know. The fact that you had to ask in the first place amuses me.
[22:02] <Chris-Hansen> Gone quiet again?
[22:03] <Chris-Hansen> Awnser the question, tell the world what you are, and what you did to little Johny.
[22:03] <Poon-chan> Oh? Was there a question?
[22:03] <Chris-Hansen> Yes, look at the camera, up there,and say what you are.
[22:03] <Poon-chan> Ah.
[22:04] <Chris-Hansen> And detail what you did to little Johny on march 3rd 2008
[22:05] <Poon-chan> I'm a father who you don't want to leave the kids with. Especially poor, poor Johnny (learn to spell).
[22:05] <Chris-Hansen> That is the correct spelling for my home land. Are you racist aswell?
[22:06] <Chris-Hansen> Go on, tell the camera what you did to "Johnny" as you call him, tell the camera what you offered him.
[22:06] <Poon-chan> You must truly be ignorant. Surely, everyone knows already. You are merely stating the obvious, here.
[22:06] <Chris-Hansen> Then why dont you enlighten me.
[22:07] <Poon-chan> Why don't you ask anyone else? Even the plebes know.
[22:07] <Poon-chan> Surely their limited intelligence will gladly oblige to your requests.
[22:07] <Chris-Hansen> Do I have to tell the those people at home what you are? Are younot man enough to do it yourself?
[22:08] <Poon-chan> Because I already did this exact same thing a few years ago, with another child. Merely restating it again is tiresome.
[22:08] <Chris-Hansen> So, you are a re-offender?
[22:08] <Poon-chan> Verily so.
[22:08] <Chris-Hansen> Go into detail of that case.
[22:09] <Chris-Hansen> I am yet to hear of it.
[22:10] <Poon-chan> Homosexual necrophilia with a two-year-old. At least, partly. First, it was statutory rape, then murder since he was screaming quite a bit, and then the necrophilia.
[22:11] <Poon-chan> Oh, the father was there, but I emasculated him with one of those fancy-looking knives.
[22:11] <Chris-Hansen> Sexy...I mean, thats terrible!
[22:11] <Chris-Hansen> You do know, that alone could get you into my be- I mean, jail?
[22:12] <Poon-chan> Indeed. But all the more to--interest--myself with.
[22:12] <Chris-Hansen> I see.
[22:12] <Poon-chan> Do you know how many young people there know absolutely nothing on how to properly rape someone? They need a teacher. Fortunately, I'm there long enough to educate.
[22:13] <Chris-Hansen> How long is your penis?
[22:13] <Poon-chan> Shall I say...infinite?
[22:13] <Chris-Hansen> Oh, you get me hard.
[22:13] <Chris-Hansen> a/s/l?
[22:14] <Sledge> ...what?
[22:14] <Chris-Hansen> Oh.. you see that?
[22:15] <Poon-chan> How about you try spelling that out. Despite my, er, proficiency, I seem to be relatively uneducated with the conventions of Internet acronyms.
[22:15] <Chris-Hansen> You know, I am the worlds best detective onto pedophiles Sledge, people will believe me
[22:15] <Chris-Hansen> Not you
[22:16] <Chris-Hansen> So if i where you, I would be quiet, while me and Poon engage in some internet action.
[22:17] <Poon-chan> When I was younger, we did it face to face. This newfangled Internet makes everything so much easier, yet so less satisfying.
[22:17] <Chris-Hansen> I know, raping the kiddies was so much better before videogames.
[22:18] <Poon-chan> Yes, indeed.
[22:18] <Sledge> ...
[22:18] <Chris-Hansen> Slege, how old are you?
[22:18] <Poon-chan> Now, with the videogames, people are just less--shall we say--interested?
[22:19] <Chris-Hansen> Yes, i must concur
[22:19] <Poon-chan> Especially those "hentai" games.
[22:19] <Poon-chan> Seriously the children of today cannot be educating themselves with that cotton candy drivel.
[22:19] <Chris-Hansen> Want to find out where Sledge lives and have a gang-bang? Im Chris Hansen, I can do this stuff.
[22:20] <Poon-chan> Now, you don't even know how old Sledge is, and unfortunately, I have less interest in people near my age or older.
[22:20] <Chris-Hansen> oh, I can rest assured he is 8
[22:20] <Chris-Hansen> He is at his prime, and needs to be rutted.
[22:20] <Poon-chan> Evidence?
[22:21] <Chris-Hansen> I am. Chris Hansen. I can do anything.
[22:21] <Poon-chan> Anything?
[22:21] <Chris-Hansen> Anything.
[22:21] <Chris-Hansen> Look behind you, you see me?
[22:22] <Poon-chan> Even removing your eyeballs and enlarging your nose?
[22:22] <Chris-Hansen> Yes, I can, I am doing it behind you now.
[22:22] <Poon-chan> Ah.
[22:23] <Chris-Hansen> You got a nice ass, you know.
[22:23] * Sledge bites Chris
[22:23] <Poon-chan> I asked because, see, I've heard of this new revolutionary method, and I'm always willing to try out new methods, you know...?
[22:23] <Chris-Hansen> Ow!
[22:23] <Chris-Hansen> Did i tell you to stop sucking, boy?
[22:24] <Chris-Hansen> Be nice Sledge or your candy!
[22:24] <Chris-Hansen> I will eat it...
[22:25] <Poon-chan> hawt
[22:25] <Chris-Hansen> Yes.
[22:25] <Chris-Hansen> Anyway, I have children to molest, I can do this beacuse, I am, Chris Hansen.
[22:26] <Chris-Hansen> I will.... See you c u l8r, as you internet people say.
[22:26] * Chris-Hansen (8e44e392@cloak-59BC4827.mibbit.com) Quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[22:26] <Poon-chan> ...And it was starting to get fun

[Mad Fredin]

<&[sage]> i'm gay.

Nuff' said.

[CrazyDitto]

More [sage] goodness.

[17:49] <&[sage]> truth be told though-- i'm a apathetic asshole.
[17:50] <&[sage]> the type who could genuinely give two shits.
[17:50] <&[sage]> quite literally.
[17:50] <&[sage]> ...
[17:50] <@SaneDitto> ...
[17:50] <&[sage]> now that i think about it..
[17:50] <@SaneDitto> I'm sure I didn't need to hear that last part.
[17:51] <&[sage]> *couldn't
[17:51] <&[sage]> i'm sure this will be chat logged later...

[tybalt]

15[22:39] <&Duck_Hunt> SaneDitto:
15[22:39] <&Duck_Hunt> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M7mE8DGgG0
15[22:40] <&Duck_Hunt> for some reason, this makes me .
[22:42] <@SaneDitto> in what way?
15[22:43] <&Duck_Hunt> hard to describe. It puts a smile on my face like nothing else.
15[22:45] <&Duck_Hunt> Usually it's the menacing >:]c
15[22:45] <&Duck_Hunt> but this particular organ makes me giddy.
15[22:45] <&Duck_Hunt> well, not really giddy.
15[22:46] <&Duck_Hunt> but more like i can't stop smiling at the awesome.
[22:46] <@SaneDitto> ah.
15[22:50] <&Duck_Hunt> Seeing the organ itself gave me an artist orgasm.
15[22:50] <&Duck_Hunt> Nevermind the music.
[22:51] <~Blacken_>  an organ, huh? it's OK, you can say "dick"
[22:51] <@SaneDitto> hurhur
15[22:51] * SaneDitto was kicked by Blacken_ (LAUGH MORE CONVINCINGLY)
15[22:51] * SaneDitto (~eisenseit@sa-ED7E204A.vc.shawcable.net) has joined #theashtray
15[22:51] * ChanServ sets mode: +o SaneDitto
15[22:52] <&Duck_Hunt>
15[22:52] * &Duck_Hunt facepalms
15[22:53] <&Duck_Hunt> SaneDitto, read my "orgasm" line, then read blacken's line.
15[22:54] <&Duck_Hunt> Then replace "organ" with "dick".
[22:56] <@SaneDitto> Welp, I'm rather beat from a whole day of gallivanting, so I'm sorry I don't sound more convincing
[22:56] <@SaneDitto> I do get the entendre, though
15[22:58] <&Duck_Hunt> And here i was, about to mention the size of the thing.
15[22:58] <&Duck_Hunt>
[22:59] <@SaneDitto>
15[23:02] <&Duck_Hunt> You'd like an organ that size too. If you could afford it. And play it.
[23:05] <@SaneDitto> music to my ears
[23:05] <@SaneDitto> ;3c
[23:07] <~Blacken_> so would Fox.
15[23:07] * ~Blacken_ rimshot
15[23:36] <&Duck_Hunt> >:3c

It's not the size of the organ that matters, but how well you play it. 

[Cardboard Box]

Orgaaaaaaaaaan